It’s been almost 4 weeks since I’ve had my surgery. I promised to write a piece about fertility and I know that my friends have been on the edge of their seat. The main reason why I wanted to have this surgery was quality of life as indicated before hand. My stomach was growing enormously and my fibroids were the cause of many minor but nagging health issues.
But the other all important reason why I got the surgery was to increase my changes of fertility (not that I’m trying now). As I am pushing my way through my 30’s, fertility has been a huge topic of conversation with my friends and family and shall I add – the Media. As I have talked about my plight as of late, I have talked to friends who cannot have children, friends who have had difficulty trying to conceive, and then individuals like myself who would like to be a mother some day, but don’t have a suitable mate or find themselves in a place where it is simply not the right time to conceive.
But with advances in the medical field, the issue of infertility is decreasing. We can freeze eggs, have surrogate mothers and a host of over techniques at our disposal that I haven’t begun to uncover. Over the past few weeks, I have really been honest with myself about fertility. I have always felt that I would be heartbroken if I didn’t become a mother. **Feminists you can stop reading now** My philosophy on womanhood has been that a woman’s purpose was to conceive. Why else would we have a monthly menstrual cycle and uterus? While I know that women have elevated beyond staying at home and bearing kids, I have accepted that one aspect of my calling (in calling I mean that I was born a woman). And so I have accepted the duties that I believe the creator has bestowed upon me. I have had many conversations with friends who feel my philosophy is quite antiquated, but it is those differences of opinions that make the world go round right?
I can say the time leading up to and right after my surgery my feelings have changed a bit. I’ve had to face facts that I may not be able to have children no matter how much “pre-work” I’m doing now. With that being said, I’ve realized that being a mother doesn’t mean you have to physically bear the child or that your DNA has to be exhibited within a child to be his or her parent. My friend asked if I was going to freeze some of my eggs in the event that the surgery did not go as planned. I was set back by this question. I had never thought of something like that, although this practice is increasing. Personally I find saving my eggs a bit vain. I believe there are too many children in this world in need of homes to concern myself with if the child has my eyes or nose.
No real ending here, just my two cents.
I can also give an update – for anyone else going through this surgery and recovery. The first two weeks were extremely rough. After two weeks, I was able to drive and walk in limited amounts. I was extremely tired and worked hard to get my stamina up.
Now into week 4 – I’m not napping as much and I’m back to my normal, social routine. Bending is difficult and sleeping the way I want is still difficult. I have a cramp that won’t go away and my mother thinks that it is the result of me doing too much and I have set myself back a bit. I hope it was just the result of not sleeping properly.
I realize that my speedy recovery has differed from many stories that I have heard. I also realized that those women who have had a c-section (very similar surgery) recovered quickly. Mainly, according to them, because they had a child to take care of and didn’t have time to be in bed sick!
Although I didn’t have a child, I knew that I was leaving for England in a few weeks and didn’t have the full 6 weeks to recover! It was back to work for me so I had to keep it moving. My step mother said to me today “boy – nothing keeps you down”. I can actually say I agree with her!