I’m Engaged

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Hello, my name is Natasha and I am a hypocrite.

I have been judgmental about friends who have married within months of meeting someone. “They don’t even know each other” is my favorite response.  Today, however, I updated my Facebook status to ‘engaged’ after meeting and knowing someone for just two short months. In the summer of 2010, I quit a stable job, as my friends and family all know, to go to graduate school and travel.  Before then, I believed the road best traveled was the road that was the shortest, straightest, and with minimal deviations.   In other words, I was used to having a routine or doing the ‘usual’.   When I moved from America, something clicked in my mind. I was tired of doing the expected or the usual. I wanted to live unconventionally in this conventional world and I have taken this spirit with me as I embark on this journey called marriage.

At this point, I am only accepting encouragement and positive support.  So, to all the doubters and naysayers please continue to live your life in a way that makes you happy and I will live mine in a way that makes me happy. I do not need your advice or skepticism.  I am a 34-year old woman who has proved to be more than intelligent, responsible, and capable of making good, solid decisions about my life.

Inquiring minds want to know about the man, the proposal, the ring, the wedding, etc. I promise more to come later. I’m still suffering from jet lag and food poisoning!

24 responses »

  1. Congratulations Natasha!!! I am so happy for you. I have been married 15 years to someone I met and had a short engagement with. It was the best decision I have made. When you know the right person is there why wait. Take care and wishing you nothing but the best!

  2. Once again, I say congrats to you both. I'm happy that you are happy and that is all that matters. All the best and p.s you need to give no explanations to anyone – you are a grown a$$ woman!

  3. Best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom! I'm so happy for you both. My wife and I met in May of 2009 and purchased a home together by November. May 1 we celebrated our first anniversary. We did things the way we felt it was best for us, no one else. I'm so happy for you.

  4. 100% support right here from a friend who always knew you would walk your own path just as I have mine. It takes much courage to deviate from the norm. But when you venture out, the rewards are so much greater knowing who you are and what you aren't scared to accomplish. I love you and wish you and your fiance the best. Oh, and I'm very proud of you!

  5. I am so loving this right now. I am proud to call you a friend Dani. You just get better and better. I hope to draw on some of your courage as I navigate through this thing called life. Peace and love Coco.x

  6. Dani – found your blog while searching for info on traveling in Morocco. You have quite a gift for writing and sharing your experiences! Congratulations on your engagement – sounds like a beautiful story :)I have some questions regarding traveling around Morocco with a male companion, as you had done. Any way we could get in touch?

  7. congratulations, tasha!!!! wishing you all the happiness in the world. i'm happy that you're able to let go of all the "conventional" and expected and embrace the unknown. so, so, happy for you. :)jenn

  8. Hi Dani,
    Congratulations on your engagement! I think it’s great that you are finally taking a look at yourself and realising the hypocritical person in which you are. As you have said yourself, far too often, you have been quick to criticise other peoples relationships and now you are on the receiving end of bitterness that you so casually dispersed into others lives. Please recognise that if your decision to marry is being ridiculed, there is probably a lot you have done to contribute to this response. Take time to reflect and remember all of the negative relationship advice you have given which resulted in the unhappiness of other people. From glancing at your blog, it’s clear that prior to this moment you have had a catalogue of failed relationships so therefore may be harbouring a lot of pain. I hope that you will heal over your own past experiences and consequently prevent yourself from pouring poison into another persons journey . Realise that you are not a relationship expert, so therefore do not have the right to impose your opinions or morals on something you have yet to understand. In fact no one can be given the title of ‘expert’ as we are all constantly learning. As you are quickly approaching middle-age, I hope that you can continue your life with the wisdom and maturity which have previously been absent. Concentrate on your future husband and learn how to successfully navigate your way through a serious, long term relationship. Share optimism and encouragement with your friends regarding their relationships and you will receive more light in your life. I wish you the best of luck !

    • Thanks – I guess – for your comment. A true example of a blessing and a curse coming out of the same mouth. Yes – I have looked at friends and have wondered what they were doing with their relationships. However, one thing I NEVER do is “casually disperse into other lives” as you alluded to in your post. When friends ask me for advice I refrain in fact. I’m not an example to live by therefore I don’t think that I am the best person to give advice with regards to relationships. What I have been receiving is NOT in fact bitterness, but opposition to something which people can’t grasp because it is too far out of the realm of their daily understanding. People are so used to the mundane and typical way of doing things that they are quick to criticize someone who does something out of the norm. I received the same level of criticizing when I quit a job after 8 years and decided to move to England and Spain.

      I am not being Ridiculed by my friends in the least bit. Perhaps there is a language barrier/or semantics barrier (shouldn’t be since your spelling gives off that you are English). I never once said my friends are ridiculing me. And the criticizing I am gaining is not because I have done anything to anyone (obviously you don’t know me). Just because people criticize your actions doesn’t mean that it is the result of something negative you have done. People are criticizing my decision because it’s not what they would do. Just like quitting a job and living overseas is not something they would do.

      I have not given negative relationship advice because I don’t give it. In fact, I find advice to be futile because people don’t take advice and just do what they want. I have learned this from advice that people have given to me and advice that perhaps I gave to people when I was much younger. Lesson learned years ago – don’t give advice!

      Prior to this engagement I have had failed relationships yes – as most people have. Tell me how many people you know have met their spouse and have been married to that person since high school or whatever the age of legality is in their culture? HMMMMMMNNN _ I bet you don’t know too many do you. I can say that I only know 1 couple like that off the top of my head. I’m over the past relationships and if I wasn’t – I wouldn’t be able to move on with someone new.

      I don’t spill poison into others. I never presented myself as a relationship expert. I only presented myself as someone who was open and honest to reveal a little bit about myself. And yes open myself up for criticism from not only friends, but strangers such as yourself.

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