Author Archives: danismelange

About danismelange

I enjoy writing for fun, reading, traveling, and meeting new people. I'm a mother, sister, auntie, and friend. I write what comes to my mind - its unpretentious, honest, and straight from my heart!

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry

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So I embarked on another transatlantic journey with my child who is now three. The last time I took that voyage with her, she was one, not walking or talking. I thought at this age it would be much easier. I was wrong. She constantly wanted to be carried and I left the tram at home (thank god for my friend who indulged her during our weekend in Valencia) and her father in Morocco as I didn’t have the strength to carry that big girl around.

Due to a busy and stressful work schedule prior to our departure, I was not able to plan the way I normally do with a trip, but I still made some plans that included Flamenco of some sort, Museums, Bus Tours, train rides, etc. Alas, the day of our trip arrived and I realized that even the best laid plans are not toddler proof (or ex husband proof). Change of accommodations by others, jet lag, bank card not working, and temper tantrums put a little damper and added stress on the vacation.

However, in the end, I was reminded that it’s alright to break plans. We don’t have to be held hostage to plans.  What I thought would be the most enjoyable parts of the trip (visiting castles and seeing musical performances in Spain) were actually trumped by our three short days in Morocco.  I have been to Morocco several times and for my daughter, this was her second time (although she has no memory of her previous trip).

For some reason, I thought that this would be her least favorite part of the trip as the parts we were visiting were nothing like what she is used to.  However, kids have a way of reminding us of the most simple and basic things in life. At the end of the day, she didn’t care about seeing the Sagrada Familia.  What she cared about the most was playing in the playground across the street from the Sagrada Familia. She didn’t care about our bus tour or even seeing any Flamenco (although she did con me into buying her a Flamenco outfit). What she cared most about was roaming free at her family’s house in Morocco with no shoes on, following her aunts/uncles around the house, eating oranges straight from the tree, and feeding the chickens with her grandmother and father.

Aaliya in Morocco with no shoes

Lessons learned from a toddler (lesson 1 million and 1 as I am always learning from this little person) – be flexible. It’s also not about the sites or the material things. Rather it’s about the experiences. As long as I am able to, I will continue to inject new experiences in her routine be it in our own backyard or someplace else. Now I need a vacation from the vacation free from children. Where to next?

 

Pascal’s Wager

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Whilst traveling in Morocco, I lost my internet connection for the night.  Not able to sleep, I realized that I had Ma Nuit Chez Maud still loaded in my computer.  Although I find reading subtitles difficult in the wee hours of the morning, it was better than lying awake with my thoughts.    I purchased the box set of Six Moral Tales about eight years ago.

ma nuit chez maud

Just like my favorite books, I pull out the movies when I’m in need of something deeper to think about than the angst of everyday living. If you have not watched any of Rohmer’s films, what you need to know is that it is full of dialogue and it’s always philosophical in nature.

I resume the film where the lead character, an engineer, reunites with an old friend. They discuss Pascal’s Wager – the idea that even if God doesn’t exist the stakes of believing outweigh the stakes of not believing. This philosophy of low or unknown probability with infinite satisfaction can be applied to everyday life. Recently, a friend reminded me of how calculated or cautious I have been.  I will admit, prior to my 30’s, I lived a very planned and careful life – not wanting to take too many chances – with food, love, work, etc. But then something changed. It felt rather refreshing to not live by the boundaries or rules I set up for myself.  I haven’t thrown all reason out the door, but it’s refreshing to lead with what will make me happy first despite the odds. Sometimes it’s better that things be impossible!