Tag Archives: siblings

A change is gonna come


Younger brother and step brother.

I had a long conversation with my younger brother today. Yup. I have a brother (a fact unknown to many). He is 15 years my junior. As such, our relationship has been one of contention; partly due to the fact that we didn’t grow up in the same house (so there are bonding issues) and partly due to the fact that I see him more as my child than a sibling. We have had disagreements about the location of his growing tattoo collection to the music lyrics he listens to on the radio, but today, we had something we could agree on: through time we change.

Not only am I physically changing as I approach 35, but my mind is changing and I am beginning to really come into myself. As a child we think that turning 18 is a definitive point. At 18 we think 25 is the definitive point and at 25 we think it’s age 30. As 35 is mere weeks away, I’ve realized that there is no definitive age-point in life. That definitive point is when we come to the realization that we have evolved as a human and continue to evolve. I would say I have only realized that within the past 2 years.

Over these past few years, and more so most recently, I have learned a lot about myself. I don’t like uniformity, but I appreciate rules. I’m not really into details as much as I thought I was. I may type Wilim instead of Wiliam and not see the error even if shown to me. I wasn’t willing to admit this and other things about myself because admitting a flaw (in my mind) meant that I was overall incapable.

A shortcoming in one arena, however, doesn’t constitute a shortcoming in another. Being cognizant of what we are truly capable of makes life easier and makes us truly productive. You can’t dislike people, but work in customer service. Growing pains are real. However, it is the growing pains that make us stronger and wiser. I still have growing up to do – a lot. Just as I anticipated turning 18 I anticipate the future. While we can never have infinite wisdom, I can’t wait for the future lessons and personal changes I will make as a result of having children, getting married, switching jobs, watching my parents get older, losing loved ones, etc.

As I talk to my brother, my fiance, and friend from University (who are all younger than me), I am beginning to truly understand their perspective instead of equating their youth to a lack of knowledge. Out of the mouth of babes, great wisdom surely does come – if you are willing to listen!

And while some people frown upon change, I want people to see me and say “wow – you’ve changed”! To me, that is the ultimate compliment! Onward and upward…a change is gonna come!